


Balance of Power

by cryptolect



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Light BDSM, M/M, Sensation Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptolect/pseuds/cryptolect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duke is restraining Nathan as a precaution when suddenly events take a turn...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Smut, sort of a pair with my other fic Release in that they start from the same premise. This one went to a more dark and dubious place though, I don't even know.
> 
> Chapter one stands alone and is spoiler-free. Chapter two contains some spoilers.

“Come on Duke. Enough’s enough. Let me go and we’ll say no more about it.” Nathan looked up hopefully from where he sat on a chair in the galley of the _Cape Rouge_.

“Sorry, but no. Audrey said you need to stay here, so you are staying here. And the day you say no more about anything that pisses you off is a day I’d have to see to believe.”

Nathan pulled stupidly at his bonds in frustration. If there was anything a Crocker knew it was how to tie a knot. “God _dammit_ , Duke! I swear, I’ll-“

“Oh, you’ll what? Stop whining, jeez! You think I want to be here any more than you do?” He flicked the dishtowel he was holding savagely at the back of Nathan’s neck. It felt good, so he did it again. And again. And again.

Suddenly Nathan bellowed furiously. “Quit that! Qui- OW!”

“Wait…you _felt_ that?” asked Duke, startled.

“I did! I felt it!” exclaimed Nathan, his anger overtaken by excitement. “C’mon Duke, seriously, let me go, I need to-“

“Aaaaw, no, man, no, I can’t. Well, I could, but I won’t. You know I won’t, and you know why. Don’t give me a hard time.”

“Don’t give YOU a hard time! Don’t give _you_ a hard time?” Nathan yowled in frustration and rocked so hard on the chair as he yanked against the ropes that Duke thought he might overbalance. Duke flushed with irritation “WAIT! Alright? Just wait there.” The rocking subsided as Nathan craned his neck to try to see what Duke was doing in the next room behind him.

“Okay” said Duke as he worked methodically at Nathan’s wrists, doing something that Nathan could feel but couldn’t quite make sense of, “I’m going to let you loose, ok? But…” he continued as he released Nathan’s ankles and went around the back to untie his hands “…not…” he said as Nathan sprang from the chair, which fell over, and found himself restrained by yet another set of ropes “…for long.” As he finished speaking, he hauled firmly on the two ropes which he’d run through metal loops in the ceiling, dragging Nathan’s wrists above his head and outward like an ungainly puppet. There was a long silence, during which Duke tied the ropes off, and then Nathan truly lost his shit.

When there was quiet again, apart from Nathan’s ragged breathing, Duke circled warily around to the front, keeping a safe distance from Nathan’s long legs. “Now, dude, chill, alright? We are likely going to be here a while, and your wrists are already pretty raw.” Nathan didn’t speak, just glared venomously at the other man. “So, I understand that you want to make the most of your feeling time. And I would gladly find a woman who would help you out with that-“ Nathan rolled his eyes in disgust “but I’d have to explain all this” he took in the ropes with a wave of his hands “which could be awkward for both of us, or at least for me, which is the important thing.”

Nathan spoke vindictively “Yes, always taking care of number one, that’s you all over, isn’t it?” Duke’s irritation rose again “I can’t believe that you-“ he stopped abruptly, making a twist in the air as if to pinch off the thought. What was it about Nathan that got under his skin so much? It was one of the things he could not stand about Wuornos, the other one being how the Chief’s son always used his badge like a shield – heh - to keep Duke at arm’s length. Never prepared to put it aside and meet him in a fair fight, even when they were, in fact, fighting. Always falling back on threats to arrest Duke, to call the coastguard or otherwise meddle in Duke’s daily business. But here and now, no badge, no gun, and losing his cool… Duke contemplated the fury on Nathan’s face and itched with mischief.

“You know, I think I see an opportunity here. Let’s take your feelings out for a spin, shall we?” He held his hands up in a defensive gesture as Nathan formed some angry retort “I’m doing you a favour! I could just go upstairs and read a book, but that would be pretty boring for you now, wouldn’t it?” “Go drown yourself, for all I care” growled Nathan, but Duke thought his heart wasn’t really in it. “Now, how to begin…” Duke mused, before inspiration struck. He rolled the dishtowel and bound it over Nathan’s eyes, securing it in a knot at the back. Nathan didn’t move or speak, but when Duke pulled a feather out of a pot and started tickling him behind the ears experimentally, he kicked back sharply with the heel of his boot, connecting with Duke’s shin.

Duke muffled a curse and disappeared for a few minutes into the adjoining room, returning amidst some clanking and jingling sounds. The next thing Nathan felt was a rope being looped around his legs. As he tottered for balance, each ankle was briskly tied, yanked hard and secured, so that he was effectively spread-eagled. He felt, as much as heard, Duke’s low whisper at his ear “Now, I’m not gonna forget that, and I am going to punish you for it.” Nathan was shocked to feel a thrill of excitement run through him at Duke’s words and he desperately tried to cover it, despite the way his breath hitched. “Y-you are in so much trouble Duke Crocker. When I get out of here-“ His words were cut short as Duke pitched a bucketful of ice water over his head.

“I _expect_ that when you get out of here you’ll make my life a living hell,” Duke said conversationally as he leaned against the kitchen table and watched Nathan gasping and spluttering helplessly like a landed fish “but do you know what?” He leaned in closer “it’s going to be _completely worth it_. Right here and now, I am going to do things to you…” he paused, closed his eyes and drew breath, smiling widely, savouring the moment, his anger smouldering like a banked fire. He clapped his hands together. “Now, what next? We’ve had a little cold, how about some heat?”

After a little movement, Nathan heard a faint roaring sound approaching his ear and felt a hot lick of air against his cheek. That wasn’t – it couldn’t be – _a blowtorch_? Nathan’s mind spun. “N-no, y-you” he protested through chattering teeth “A-Aud-drey-“ Duke interrupted him, contemptuously. “ _Really_? You’re going to tell on me to Audrey? What, are you in first grade again?” Nathan fell silent at that and hung his head. Since their schoolyard days he’d hated it if he ever felt that Duke had the upper hand over him. But right here and now, Duke could – could do whatever he wanted to him, and Nathan would just have to- to take it. Again a treacherous thrill ran through his body at the thought.

The feeling he was braced for, a blistering, searing pain, didn’t come. Instead a delicate line of heat began to trace patterns over his upper arms, cooling quickly almost as soon as he felt it burn. Already shivering from the cold, Nathan began to tremble at the excess of sensation.

Duke wrestled Nathan’s sopping t-shirt upwards and resumed the delicate tracery on his back, stomach and chest. When he eventually put the blowtorch and candle down and whisked the makeshift blindfold off Nathan’s eyes, he was startled by the way the other man looked. Cheeks reddened, breath coming in little gasps as he shook, Nathan’s usual iron self-control had deserted him. Duke felt excitement course through him at seeing Nathan Wuornos so helpless and undone. It was thrilling, to have caused this, and now all Duke wanted was to wreck Nathan thoroughly.

He picked up the dishtowel and roughly began to rub Nathan dry. When Nathan’s t-shirt got in the way, bunched up around his shoulders, Duke didn’t hesitate, just picked up a knife and cut it away. He finished the job, rubbing hard enough to cause friction and generate some warmth, then bound the damp towel around Nathan’s eyes again. He arranged some items on the counter: the knife, the feather, and about a foot of rope with a frayed end.

He felt like he was in some sort of trance state, listening to Nathan’s breathing, watching his chest expand and contract, anticipating the effects of what was about to unfold. He leaned forward and blew on Nathan’s skin, rewarded by the sight of goosebumps rising across the other man’s back, then quickly dealt him a sharp smack with the rope, which elicited a flinch and a gasp. Duke quickly turned the touch of the rope into a caress, draping it over Nathan’s shoulders, before running the point of the knife up his ribs and then tickling them with the feather. Methodically he continued, gradually increasing the intensity of the blows to bruising point, and starting to draw minute beads of blood where the knife touched.

By now every nerve ending was sending urgent signals back to his brain and Nathan began to feel he was floating away. He no longer felt anger, or wondered whether Duke had been hit by a Trouble or if he just really hated Nathan. The unpredictability of Duke’s touches and Nathan’s complete helplessness to do anything about them had undermined his capacity for rational thought. Nonetheless, when Duke pulled the blindfold from his eyes once again, a last tiny spark of defiance ignited somewhere inside him. Nathan lifted his head and looked directly if dazedly at Duke, attempting a small smile. “That all you got?” he croaked.

“Hell no, I’m just getting started” Duke responded automatically, while wondering where exactly he was going to go next with this. Inspiration came in the form of a bag of clothespins by the sink. He extracted two and deliberately clipped them onto the other man’s nipples. Nathan’s immediate sensation was one of extreme discomfort, but it was quickly overwhelmed by a charge that shot straight from his nipples to his groin. He writhed as his dick hardened inside his jeans. Shooting a glance at Duke, he was horrified to see that he’d noticed Nathan’s hard-on and was looking intrigued. “Aha!” he exclaimed triumphantly, closing in on Nathan and tweaking the clothespins hard “you _do_ want to play.”

Duke was so into this new development he couldn’t believe it. For one thing it made his next angle of attack clear. Duke had broken through Wuornos’ natural reserve, torn off his emblems of power and shattered his self-control. Now Duke wanted to strip every last shred of armour away until Nathan was laid open to him entirely, and he found himself willing to go to some lengths to achieve that. He reached up and tenderly caressed Nathan’s face, not reacting as the other man flinched and flicked surprised eyes towards him. He traced the lines of eyebrows, mouth, jaw, then drew his hands downwards, eliciting little shivers with the most delicate touches. Finally, with agonising slowness, he dipped his fingers just barely under the waist band of Nathan’s jeans. Nathan gasped and closed his eyes tight at that, and Duke closed the tiny distance between them, and kissed him, hard and deep.

If Nathan had assumed that nothing could top the effect of the barrage of sensation that Duke had previously been subjecting him to, he’d been wrong. He found himself at once hungry – desperate – for every kind of obscene intimacy. But from _Duke_ of all people… An onslaught of thoughts and emotions crowded back into his head, leaving him reeling. Fired with desire, mired in disgust, he groped for judgement, tried to control his responses and minimise his reactions to what Duke was doing, hands sliding down insistently inside his jeans, flirting with his dick… And then abruptly, Duke pulled away entirely and stepped back, and Nathan could not suppress a moan at the loss of his touch, though he bit it off quickly.

“C’mon Nathan, ask me for it. I know you want to.” His eyes were dragged to Duke’s face, serious now, his eyes dark and intense, a slight colour washing his cheekbones. “No, I really don’t” was all he could manage, not the wittiest riposte. “Yeah, yes you really do. Come on, all you have to do is ask. You don’t even have to ask nicely.” Duke approached him and ghosted his fingers agonisingly over Nathan’s crotch, his breath whispering against Nathan’s cheek.

“From my cold grave, Duke Crocker” Nathan gritted out with his last ounce of willpower. Duke’s face darkened in temper. “Fine, have it your way, you stubborn- self-righteous- power-abusing-“ he punctuated his words with sharp pokes to Nathan’s chest and finally whipped off both the clothespins from Nathan’s nipples. As Nathan cried out soundlessly with the pain, he felt Duke wrench open the buttons on his fly and tug his jeans and shorts down around his thighs in one swift movement. Dropping to his knees, Duke sucked in Nathan’s erection and began to blow him furiously, careless of scraping teeth and scratching nails.

 _Fine_ Nathan thought _you want it rough? Two can play at that game._ He thrust hard into Duke’s mouth, although he wasn’t really sure, if he was honest, whether it was actually for revenge or just because he really wanted to. He was sort of surprised when Duke just rode with it, swallowing him down deeper. Nathan couldn’t ever remember feeling so horny, he was starting not to care that it was Duke kneeling in front of him, he just didn’t want it to stop. The frustration when Duke suddenly did stop again was agonising.

“So, you ready to ask me for something yet?” Duke rasped. Nathan remained stubbornly silent. “Well, you’re gonna beg me to keep going or you’re gonna beg me to stop, and at this point, I don’t really care which.” Duke turned on his heel and shortly returned with a bottle in his hand. He walked around the back of Nathan who inhaled sharply as he felt Duke’s hands, hot and slippery, gripping his butt. Kneading with his fingers and and drawing circles with his powerful thumbs, Duke gradually slipped his fingertips into Nathan’s crack, a tantalising bit at a time, until he was parting Nathan’s cheeks, fingers slipping and sliding over his hole. Duke took one hand to trickle oil down Nathan’s lower back so that it ran into his crack and down between his legs. Then he abruptly and roughly penetrated Nathan with three fingers.

Nathan cried out, couldn’t help it, with the pain and the shock, the violation. And yet he was still hard as a rock and desperately turned on. He felt, at one and the same time, degraded and abused but also desirable and lustful. And somehow…liberated. Deep inside him something quietly snapped. The hell with it. The little voice inside that lectured him on right and wrong, shame and pride, could fuck right off. For once Nathan was going to enjoy himself. Duke chose that moment to withdraw his hands. Nathan was amazed to hear himself say, quietly but calmly “I want it, Duke. I want all of it.”

Whatever he had expected in response, it wasn’t for Duke to quietly lay his hands on Nathan’s sides, and rest his forehead between his shoulder blades for a long moment. Maintaining contact with a single palm pressed to Nathan’s skin, he awkwardly loosened the ropes binding his arms by about a foot. His abused shoulders screamed but Nathan didn’t care, because Duke wrapped his arms around him again, keeping him steady, and began to jerk him off slowly, grinding his hard dick against Nathan’s ass. Nathan wanted more and began to grind back, shamelessly. “You sure about this?” Duke asked quietly. Nathan was incredulous “ _Now_ you want to know what I want? Fuck! Just fucking fuck me. Jesus, take me, fucking _make me_.” Duke pressed inside him, slowly. Nathan began to rock back, impaling himself over and over. “Come on, Duke! Do me- so hard- that I see- fucking- stars. I want- to- _feel it_.”

Duke was taken aback. Somehow, despite everything he’d done, Nathan was now the one in control of the situation. And, he had to admit, this new crazy Nathan was both very fine and _very hot_. Deciding abruptly to submit to Nathan’s desires, both because he couldn’t see an alternative and because he wanted to, dammit, he began to thrust harder and faster. It felt amazing, and the torrent of filth pouring from Nathan’s lips only hardened his dick and quickened his stroke. He kept fisting Nathan’s cock as best he could in his frenzy, and bit hungrily on the other man’s shoulders, eliciting husky cries that went straight to his groin. He felt himself nearing the edge and whispered hoarsely “I… _oh Nathan_ …I’m gonna…” As he came he heard “ _Duke, Duke, Duke_ ” in response and felt Nathan spilling over his fist.

Nathan sagged then, and Duke dragged his own pants up, and Nathan’s, then slacked off the ropes, lowering the other man to the ground. He sank down gratefully beside him, and they leaned on each other for a while, breathing heavily, sweat slicking their skin. After some time, he didn’t really know how much, Duke’s phone chirped merrily from the counter and he reluctantly rose to answer it. “Hi…yeah…okay…yeah, tomorrow…bye.” Nathan lifted his tousled head and looked at Duke with hazy eyes, pupils huge and black. Duke leaned down and kissed him one last time, deep and tenderly. Then he untied all the ropes, went into the other room and came back with a shirt of his own, Nathan’s jacket, gun and badge. He righted the kitchen chair which Nathan had formerly occupied and laid these items on it, placing the rope, knife, dishtowel and feather on top of the pile. Finally he found another chair and sat down.

“Your move Nathan. And however you want to play things? _C_ _ompletely worth it_."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened, Duke and Nathan have a lot to figure out, individually and together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for roseveare, who kindly offered me encouragement to write it, but who bears no responsibility for the quality of the work!
> 
> This chapter contains some spoilers.

Duke sat and waited.  Nathan stood up, pulled the shirt and jacket on without fastening them, holstered his gun, gathered up the other items, and left without looking back.  Duke let out a long, slow, breath.  He honestly didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed.  He fixed a coffee, and sauntered out of the galley.  He stopped short on seeing a note tacked to a bulkhead near the ladder up to the deck.  In quickly scrawled capitals, it simply said “BE READY”.  Duke’s stomach jumped slightly.  Crap.  As if he didn’t already keep one eye open all the time for Nathan anyway for reasons of day-to-day harassment, now there was a whole extra dimension to the situation.  He scrubbed his hand over his eyes wearily. 

He saw Nathan the next morning, when he and Audrey turned up at the bar to ask about some out-of-towners who’d been staying in a rented cottage down by the marina.  Nathan looked… just like he always looked.  Aloof and stern, perhaps faintly less actively hostile than usual.  But then Duke guessed _he_ probably looked the same from the outside, too.  Even after such a short time had passed, it was as though his brain couldn’t tolerate such an outlandish memory, had started to build a little wall around it, to banish it to the realm of half-forgotten dreams.  It seemed quite easy to carry on running in familiar grooves, performing himself; a bit of antagonistic banter with Nathan here, a bit of gallant flirting with Audrey there, as if nothing had even happened at all.

Nonetheless, he couldn’t assume Nathan was going to let things lie.  Duke calculated that nothing would happen with Audrey around, or when he was in public.  He started to keep a mental track of where Nathan was and what he was up to.  He spent more time at the Gull, and less time at the boat alone.  He carefully locked doors, windows, portholes, and checked the back seat of his truck.  He stopped listening to music around the place, in case it muffled a tell-tale noise.  He dropped in to the police station more often than he’d have liked, and cancelled business transactions here and there because he couldn’t risk Nathan showing up even more unexpectedly than usual.  He slept fitfully, starting awake any time his subconscious detected an unusual sound.   The crazy thing was, that under ordinary circumstances Nathan came around for a fight every few months, and usually Duke was pretty relaxed about his ability to hold his own, but this was different, somehow, and it creeped the hell out of him. 

It was exhausting, is what it was. He finally reached the end of his tether one evening after a long, stinking hot day chasing Newt Handley, whose trouble was that he was entirely terrified, and whose Trouble was that he was intermittently transparent, all around the town with Audrey, Nathan and Dwight.  While the others headed off to the cinema, bickering about which colour Slushie was best, and which of them smelled the worst, he dragged himself back to the _Cape Rouge_.   He jumped in the shower and stood under the water for a long time, trying to wash away his fatigue along with the dirt. 

He’d been determined, initially, to wait it out, not to give Nathan the satisfaction of getting a rise out of him.  But this was getting out of hand.  It had been six weeks already; right now he didn’t think he could make it another six days.  Maybe Nathan didn’t ever intend to do anything to him in payback, or maybe _this was the thing that Nathan was doing to him_.  As he wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower, he resigned himself.  Tomorrow he was going to go and see Nathan and say, and say- well and say whatever he had to.  He fixed himself a tall glass of water and stood for a minute, trying to compose a form of words that wouldn’t involve giving up every last scrap of his dignity.  And at that moment his world went dark.

Duke instinctively dropped the glass in the sink and clutched at his head, whirling, trying to rip away the rough fabric covering his head, but it was drawn close around his neck.  The thick cloth was musty and choking, and he started to panic and claw at his face.  The towel was suddenly ripped from his waist, and he spun again, ridiculously, knees bent, hands outstretched futilely to ward off what he couldn’t see.  He stood for a long minute, trying to calm his breath.  When nothing happened, he started to edge back towards the counter, which housed any number of actual and potential weapons. A stinging blow across his forearms made him think better of that idea.  “Hey, hey!” He held his hands up in a gesture of placation “Take it easy, ok?  Whatever the problem is, I’m sure we can work it out.” He had to stop and spit then, because his mouth, already parched, was filling with fluff from the sack every time he spoke.

He started running through a list of people he may have pissed off enough that they’d come looking to do him harm.  In his defence, it wasn’t a very long list.  Looking back later, it seemed nonsensical that the one possibility which had filled his every waking thought for the last six weeks was not the one which first occurred to him.  But eventually, after he’d exhausted all the persuasive words he could muster up while half choked by a gunny sack, and having elicited no response beyond a biting thwack, whenever he moved, from the… rod? That the mysterious stranger was wielding, he suddenly caught a clue.

“… _Nathan_?  Is that you?”  As soon as he said it he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was right.  Relief mingled with anger and he gave himself over to some semi-coherent swearing for a minute.  He was careful not to move, though, because _damn_ that stick smarted.  He could feel faint fiery stripes glowing on his skin wherever it had laid down over him.  When he had calmed himself, he spoke.  More plaintively than he’d hoped, but perhaps that would have a good effect. “Listen, Nathan, just take this thing off me and we can talk.”  As an afterthought, he added “…Please?”  Finally, _finally_ , Nathan replied.  “Good, you’re getting the idea.  Tonight it’s your turn to ask for what you want.”  His voice took on a malicious tone.  “You don’t even have to ask nicely.” 

 

****

As Nathan stumbled off Duke’s boat after It happened, his head had felt clear and light and empty.  He should have been aching and sore but, he realised, he couldn’t feel it now.  Back at his place, he took a shower and fell into a deep dreamless sleep, the best he’d had in a long time.  That sense of calm, of peace, lasted for a few weeks.  He hadn’t realised how much effort it took to keep himself locked down all the time and with that burden lifted, he practically floated everywhere he went.  He skirmished with Duke, and it didn’t bother him, he danced to Audrey’s sometimes bewildering tune and it didn’t bother him, he dealt with all of Haven’s daily discord and it didn’t bother him. 

Gradually, though, the old Nathan started to seep back behind his eyelids.  The little voice, first, reminding him of all the ways he’d screwed up, all the ways he could screw up, even just by trying to have something he wanted, maybe.  Next, the insidious emotions he had to constantly keep under wraps; anger at his father, jealousy of Duke, fear of what lay in store for them all.  And finally the old ache, the desire to touch and be touched, the longing to reach out to Audrey all the damn time and the need to make sure he didn’t.  His feet hit the sidewalk hard like before.  He fell into a mild depression, then, and once again, nothing bothered him.

One Sunday morning a few weeks later, he woke feeling different.  Not great, but situation normal.  Equilibrium re-established, burden shouldered once more.  He lay in bed and dozed, and the events on Duke’s boat crept into his head.  Right after it happened, when he was still feeling free and clear, he’d remembered that afternoon with a sense of wonder and amazement.  And then, later, when things were bad, he’d remembered them again with feelings of shame and humiliation.  He explored the memory gingerly now, like poking at a loose tooth.  He felt… he felt… _like making the next move_ , his subconscious supplied. 

 

****

And now, here he is, standing over Duke, who is laid out on his back, neatly roped to the four bedposts, sack still fastened over his head, tensely waiting.  His long, lean, golden body is lightly marked with a few red lines across forearms and thighs.  Nathan had snipped a hole in the sack around where he reckoned Duke’s mouth was, and then left him there to stew while he went and took a shower.  But now it’s time.  He feels nervous, and for a second he thinks about backing out, but no.  This is a one-time chance and he’s got to take it.  Got to make Duke pay, just a little, make him beg forgiveness in this strange new language they’ve discovered between them.

He cuts the cord from the sack and pulls it off Duke, who draws a few heaving breaths of fresh air.  His face is flushed and sweaty, his hair is tousled and everything is coated in a fine layer of dust.  He elects not to look at Nathan.  Nathan picks up the tall plastic bottle of water from the nightstand and uncaps it, then thoughtfully takes a long drink.  _That_ gets Duke’s eyes on him right away.   Duke watches the water washing in the bottle with longing, and drops his eyes to Nathan’s throat as he gulps the liquid down.  Duke swallows himself, then, hard and dry. 

Pouring some water into the hollow of his hand Nathan flicks it over Duke in fine droplets.  Duke licks his lips in hopes that a drop has fallen where he can reach it.  Nathan takes another mouthful of water and climbs onto the bed.  He leans down and presses his lips gently to Duke’s.  He opens his mouth slightly and the water starts to dribble out, running into Duke’s mouth and down his chin.  Duke sucks and licks desperately, at his own face, at Nathan’s, trying to catch up every last drop. 

Nathan gives him a few more mouthfuls, then reaches down and pulls up a bottle of bourbon.  He takes a swig and presses his mouth to Duke’s again, but Duke hesitates and the whiskey runs in tawny rivulets through the dust on his face.  Nathan growls his displeasure and tries again.  This time he opens his mouth wider against Duke’s and follows each mouthful with his tongue, licking into Duke’s own mouth.  Duke hasn’t eaten all day and Nathan can see the alcohol light him up straight away.  Nathan takes a couple of deep swigs himself, idly tracing over the liquid trails across Duke’s neck and shoulders with one fingertip.  Duke shivers. 

Replacing the fingertip with a familiar green feather, Nathan starts tickling in earnest, ribs, armpits, navel, ribs again.  Duke quickly starts to twitch and snort, and eventually he’s laughing and twisting helplessly.  Nathan laughs too.  He keeps going though, and before long Duke, contorting himself through the same tiny range of motion that his bonds will allow, shaking with reflexive laughter, is uttering little high-pitched wheezes at the discomfort of cramping muscles.  “Stop. Please, stop.”

“What will you give me, to stop?”  He’s surprised to find he’s enjoying himself.  Duke obviously can’t think straight “uh, I, uh don’t know, I- what do you want?”  Nathan pretends to give this some thought, frowning deeply “Hmmm… what _do_ I-“Duke can’t take it anymore. “Whatever! Just- _anything you want_ , just stop, and- just stop.”  Nathan stills the feather and Duke practically sobs with the relief.

“You might regret making that deal.  What comes next could be…worse.” He picks up the frayed rope, further unravelled now, each of the nine strands knotted at the end.  Then he stuffs the wadded-up dishtowel into Duke’s mouth.  “I can’t really tell how hard I’m swinging this thing, so we’re gonna have to play it by ear.  Make sure and let me know how it feels.” Duke’s eyes widen just slightly, in a way that Nathan finds intensely gratifying.  He wants to prolong that moment of fearful anticipation, so he starts to caress Duke’s body with the rope tail.  Not the ticklish spots this time, the sensitive and sensual ones.  Every now and again he alternates with a quick flick of the cat, just enough to sting and raise a gasp, not to really hurt. 

He thinks back to their afternoon together, and he has to close his eyes for a moment, the rush of arousal is so intense.  Being bound and helpless hadn’t previously been a particularly pleasurable experience for him. But this time he was restrained, not at someone’s mercy, rather at their pleasure, and oh, the exquisite difference!  The intimacy, the pitch of sensation, he can still call it to vivid memory now.  The scent of Duke’s cologne, light and citrus, and his sweat, sweet and musky, are so evocative.  Nathan leans down despite himself to breathe Duke in even more deeply. 

But somehow it breaks his reverie.  He’s suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of anger and self-pity.  Yet another set of feelings that he can’t have, and it’s all Duke’s fault.  He stands up and lashes out with the rope, and Duke yelps through his gag and exclaims angrily and incomprehensibly in Nathan’s general direction.  Nathan ignores him and concentrates on laying down blows across his chest, belly, arms and thighs.  He doesn’t feel quite confident about not damaging Duke so he sticks to the same spots; well-muscled and away from the joints, with the result that they quickly redden to a deep shade.  Duke is yelling pretty continuously at this point, but it’s only when Nathan sees tears running from his eyes that he realises he’d better call a halt.  He uses the damp dishtowel to smear the tears away.

The wide red stripes across Duke’s body look like weirdly-located patches of sunburn.  Nathan places his hand over one of them and imagines the heat trapped between his palm and Duke's body, unable to escape.  It gives him an idea and he goes to rummage in Duke’s refrigerator.  He comes back with a bowl of ice cubes and swipes one experimentally across the crimson swath over Duke’s belly.  Duke’s eyes nearly roll back into his head, so Nathan paints all the marks he’s made with the freezing cube.  He loves having this effect on Duke.  He’s just completely lost in the moment, eyes dazed and heavy-lidded, panting helplessly. _Beautiful_ Nathan thinks.

Nathan picks the knife from the nightstand and balances the point on his thumb.  When he takes it away, there’s the minutest bead of blood.  He swipes deliberately across Duke’s bottom lip, and Duke gasps sharply, a silver sheen washing briefly across his eyes. “It’s a good feeling, huh?” asks Nathan.  “Yeah” Duke breathes. Nathan pinches his thumb to produce another tiny scarlet speck which he presses to Duke’s belly this time.  Again, the effect is momentary.  He patiently repeats his actions over and over until Duke is clearly wired, and half-hard, and frustrated.  He places his other thumb to Duke’s mouth and then presses inwards.  The look Duke turns on Nathan as he sucks his thumb is shocking, lewd and wanton. 

Between that and the noises Duke’s making as his mouth moves, Nathan gets immediately hard himself.  He turns away for a minute to reach for the bottle of lube on the nightstand and as he does he hears a sudden rush of movement behind him and his brain rattles from what must be a ringing blow to the head.  In a couple of confused moments, his legs are swept from under him and he goes down hard and winded, Duke landing heavily full-length on top of him.  As he gasps desperately for breath, Duke leans down over his shoulder and he can see fully silvered eyes looking into his.

 “You see, Nathan”, Duke says, “what you didn’t notice, because _you wouldn’t_ , is that you cut yourself with the knife just now.  So I’m fully juiced.  And here we are.  I feel that I should tell you, for full disclosure, that I’m humping your ass, and in a little while I’m going to hold you down and fuck you.”  Nathan draws a harsh stuttering breath.  He’s enjoyed taking Duke in hand, but _this-_ this is what he needed all along. 

“There’s something we have to do first though” says Duke.  Nathan, still dazed and breathless, offers only token resistance as Duke picks him up bodily and slings him onto the bed.  “Because I think-“ and he takes a handful of hair and tugs Nathan’s head around viciously “that as usual-“ he tugs the other way for emphasis, and Nathan doesn’t even bother to hide his moan of pleasure at being manhandled like this “you’ve avoided the real issue.  Come on, let’s have it out.  You’ve got a problem with me, and I want to know what it is.” Nathan shakes his head warily at that. “No, Duke, best leave things be.”

Duke lets out an exasperated groan.  “Oh Nathan, _Nathan_ , that’s just such a terrible plan, only you could possibly think it would work.”    Duke sits back and looks at him thoughtfully.  “You can’t feel anything this time, so I can’t beat it out of you.” Nathan’s eyes flutter closed momentarily as he thrills at the thought.  “We’re just gonna have to work with what we’ve got.  Don’t fucking move, OK?” he says, climbing off the bed and walking away, not even waiting for Nathan’s whispered assent. 

After rummaging in a drawer, he comes back with what looks like a small twist of paper.  Straddling Nathan, he produces a lighter and sets fire to the twist, draws on one end of it till the lit end sparks bright, then clamps one hand firmly over Nathan’s mouth, holding the glowing joint (Nathan realises belatedly) under his nose.  The acrid green-brown smell of the smoke is unbearable but Nathan can’t help breathing it in.  He starts to float away, and the feeling of release is so intense that tears start to fall.  Or maybe it’s the smoke, he doesn’t care.  Duke stubs out the blunt and takes his hand off Nathan’s mouth. “Tell me, Nathan.  Tell me what all this is about.”  When Nathan speaks, it’s from far away.

“It’s always been the same thing.  From the beginning.  I just, I wanted to be your friend.”

“What?  At school?  You had friends.  _Nerd_ friends, but still.”

“But I wanted to be _your_ friend.  And I thought, every time I thought, and then you…” even in the dreamy place he’s speaking from, he frowns and his mouth twists “and then I thought that you _hated_ me, you must _hate_ me, to treat me like that.  And then it was worse, and I realised” his voice catches “that it wasn’t even… I was just nothing to you, just a freak, just someone to use.”

“Hey.” Duke seems to be scrabbling for words “it was only, it was only a bit of fun, you know?” he finishes weakly.

“Fun for you, Duke, no fun for me at all.  But the worst thing?” Nathan looks at Duke directly now, suddenly present in the room again, and Duke flinches “I kept letting you do it, kept coming back for more.  I was such a sap, such a… I hated _myself_ for that Duke, and every time I see you I remember, and _that_ \- that’s what I can’t forgive you for.  How can I expect anyone… _Audrey_ … to love me when I feel like I’m worthless?”

Duke gets up off the bed and starts to pace the floor in agitation.  He grabs up the water bottle and gestures with it.  “OK, so now we’ve heard all about poor, poor, Nathan, and terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Duke.  But you know, you’ve got things all twisted.  Yeah, I was a bit of an ass in high school.” He sees Nathan’s face “OK maybe a lot of an ass.  And I’m _sorry_ , alright? …I’m sorry” he repeats softly.  “But the _reason_ I was, is because my Dad did a number on me the way yours – both of yours – did on you.  And the way this town did on both of us.  Yes, I agree, I didn’t think about your feelings, and yes, I didn’t even really think much about you at all.  But that was because I had my own shit going on.”

Nathan looks at him, genuinely surprised “But you… you’re always joking around, you never take anything seriously.  You just go after what you want, and you get it, and damn the consequences.”  Duke makes a face at that and pinches up his fingers like he’s trying to distil patience out of thin air.  “Have you ever heard of whistling in the dark, Nathan?  If I don’t always observe the niceties, it’s because life in Haven is too darn scary hard to sweat the small stuff, and quite possibly too damn short as well.”

 “…I didn’t realise” Nathan says quietly.

“Of course you didn’t, because you” Duke takes a couple of quick strides to the bed and raps on Nathan’s forehead with his knuckles “are always locked in here, going round and around like a goldfish, instead of actually ever talking to anyone about anything that matters.”  Nathan still can’t quite let it go, although he doesn’t sound so certain now “but you always give me shit all the time!”

“Yeah Nathan, and that is me being your friend.  Or it could be, if you’d let it.  That’s me, that’s just how I do.  I give you shit and I get your back, don’t I?”

Nathan grumbles “Yeah, because of Audrey”

“Well yeah, because when she asks, she asks sweetly, and when she threatens me it’s kind of hot.  But I show up, right?  Have I let you down when it really mattered? …I mean, recently?”

“I guess not.”

“OK then.  Are we good?”

“Yeah.”

“So does this mean I get my parking tickets fixed now?”  Nathan’s head jerks up sharply at that and then he sees Duke’s ‘gotcha’ face, and relaxes, and laughs. “Hey, _Nathan_ might be your friend, but Officer Wuornos reserves the right to ride your ass.”

“Oh, and speaking of which.” Duke flops heavily onto the bed beside Nathan. “Nah, never mind.  I guess it wouldn’t be too much fun for you, what with not being able to feel it and all.  See how considerate I can be?” He gropes for the bottle of Maker’s and passes it to Nathan and there’s a little silence while they drink companionably, sharing the bottle.

“You know,” says Nathan, after a while, “I’ve found out… that there are some things, some ways… that I can…” Duke leans up on an elbow, looking intrigued.  “Yeah? So, how does that work?”  “Well it’s like… there’s feeling that comes from the outside, and there’s feeling that comes from the inside, sort of a mental thing.  And there’s all my other senses, apart from touch.  And if I can sort of…mash all the buttons at once, then I can…you know…get there.”

“I’m down for that” Duke says instantly “what do I need to do?” Nathan props up on his elbow too, and says softly “You can have whatever you want from me tonight.  All you have to do, is take it.  And then tell me- show me- how it makes you feel.”  Duke focuses intently on Nathan for a moment. “I already told you what I’m gonna do to you” he says, and Nathan’s stomach twists with excitement, “I’m gonna fuck you through the mattress.”  “Yeah” Nathan whispers hoarsely, “Yeah, that works.” 

“Strip for me.” Nathan gets up and shyly starts to unbutton his shirt, but he’s only got about half way, when Duke growls and surges up off the bed, ripping the buttons away and dropping the shirt to the ground.  He leans in and kisses Nathan, looking him fiercely in the eye the whole time.  He grunts and he moans muffled into Nathan’s mouth, and his lips make wet sucking, smacking sounds, and when he pulls back his mouth is red and smeared with saliva.  “Fuuu…that’s good.  You taste so good, Nathan.  But I want you to, can you suck my tongue?”  Nathan can do anything, if Duke tells him it’s what he wants right now, and he nods eagerly.  Duke dives back into his mouth, and Nathan concentrates on thinking about drinking, trying to drink Duke in, and hopes it’s having the right effect.  He can tell he’s got it when Duke’s moans rise in pitch and he starts grinding against Nathan, nearly unbalancing him and oh that’s so hot.

Duke looks like he’s reluctant to stop, but he does. “OK now I’ve got another use for that mouth of yours.  I wanna see your lips wrapped around my dick, so get on your knees.”  He sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Nathan down in front of him.  This close, Nathan can breathe his musky scent already, and he thinks his mouth waters.  He braces himself against the bed, and leans forward and takes Duke’s hard length in his mouth.  He’s nervous about grazing Duke with his teeth so he tries to tell from resistance when Duke’s dick is just resting on his tongue and moves his mouth, keeping his jaw wide, closing his lips as tight as he can.  All the while he’s looking up at Duke, whose eyes are so dark, pupils grown huge.  He’s making tiny noises in the back of his throat, and his face moves, little tremors, in response to the sensation’s he’s experiencing.

“That’s great, Nathan, don’t get me wrong, but I need a little more, so I’m going to take charge now.”  He grips Nathan’s face between both hands and thrusts, and suddenly Nathan’s choking, his nose is buried in Duke’s hair, and the smell of him is so intense, god, and Nathan’s vision blurs with tears as he keeps his eyes locked on Duke’s, and tries to hold steady despite the instinct to pull away, to fight for breath. He didn’t think Duke’s gaze could get any more intense but it’s laser focused, as he pulls back, gives Nathan a bare few seconds to heave for air before he’s impaling him again.  “Damn Nathan, this is amazing, fucking taking it, yeah, fucking your throat, ah, I’m so tempted to shoot my load right now, watch you swallow it down, watch you fucking choke on it.” Nathan’s mesmerised, he hardly minds anymore that he’s seeing spots at the edge of his vision from running out of oxygen.

Duke pulls out quickly and grabs his dick, squeezing hard and gritting his teeth with the effort not to come.  “Get your pants off and get up on the bed.” And as Nathan obeys, panting and drooling, Duke scoops up the lube in one hand and says, “You might not be able to feel it, but you’re not gonna forget that I’ve taken what I wanted from you tonight.  I’m gonna mark you”  He sucks his way down Nathan’s chest, his belly, drawing up the blood to leave a series of crimson marks, digging in his fingers so deep he leaves bruises.   “Are you watching?” He pours lube into his hand and it disappears between Nathan’s legs.  And Nathan does watch, and although he can’t feel it at all, it’s like porn, the way Duke performs for him, sucking Nathan’s cock into his mouth, sticking his tongue out to swirl around the head, sucking and slurping, humming appreciatively, and all the time his eyes never leave Nathan’s.  

Finally he pulls off and hooks his arm under Nathan’s thigh, hoisting it upwards.  With his other hand he takes his cock and guides it out of sight, and for a minute he’s looking down, focused on what he’s doing, and Nathan can’t see his face or see – or feel – what’s happening, and he moans with frustration.  Then Duke’s surging upwards, to kiss him again, and Nathan can tell from his face that the pleasure’s intense, and they’re back in sync.  Duke is rocking into him and panting, and in between thrusts he’s talking, babbling “So tight, so hot, I can’t, you, you’re, incredible, never, fucking, driving me crazy, oh I need to-“

And his face is contorting now, and he’s trying, he’s trying so desperately, but he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Nathan, to keep talking to him, bringing him along for the ride.  His voice is hoarse and high now, “Nathan, I can’t, I’m gonna, I’m gonna-”  It’s intoxicating and Nathan is talking himself: “Duke, I can feel it, I’m close, I’m so close, I need more, give me more Duke, oh god, take me there, I need to-“ and of a sudden Duke’s hand shoots out and grips his throat, firmly, all but closing off Nathan’s airway, and oh- there it is, strong hands, powerful, holding him down, merciless, taking fucking _oh oh oh I’m Duke oh I’m_

Boneless, for a long time.  Thoughtless, heedless, wordless.  Sight, eventually, and then smell and taste and sound, all in a rush.  Duke getting up, cleaning them up.  Drowsing, wrapped around each other.  And eventually, a mumbled thought.

“Duke, you promised me something.”

“Hnf?”

“You promised me anything I wanted.”  Duke rouses himself.

“Really?  You’re going to play that card? Now?” Nathan is stubborn silence in the dark. 

“Oh, you’ve played it.  The card is played.  OK, what is it you want?”

“The next time… when I… if I get my feeling back, or if I just…can I, can we…”

Duke laughs and ruffles his hair.  “Yeah, buddy, yeah.  I’ll be right here.”


End file.
